I Wish I Didn’t Have To Write This

by Bianca @ Italian Fix


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I wish that every one of us was so fulfilled, clear on the meaning of our existence and so incredibly content — that I wouldn’t be writing this.

If you’re one of those unicorns who is dripping clarity, purpose, and self-assuredness 200% of the time, please stop reading, because these matters don’t concern you (but call me ‘cause I wanna know what you’re drinking).

For the rest of us, I’m going to underline a fundamental truth.

Here it is:

It’s ALL up to you.

In other words, quit waiting for others to give you a permission slip to do things you want to do.

Here are 5 pointers to help you ditch external validation and feel good while doing it.

Warning: you might not know what to do with your newfound chutzpah.

1. No one who is going to take care of you. I mean, they did, when you were a kid and your lunch needed to be packed, and your nose wiped. But now, adulting means, paradoxically, you’ve got to follow-through and take care of you first. The ol’ “put your oxygen mask on first” rule is just the way it’s gotta be, so everyone survives (and hopefully thrives).

2. Self-reliance means being your own advocate. Self-reliance means being radically accepting of your “advocate” title, and doing the work (even when it’s hard) to warrant the title in the first place.

3. Money is a popular excuse for not doing something we really want to do. Because money is the world’s most famous scapegoat, it’s easy to chime in with the masses and say, “I can’t afford that.” Instead, challenge your brain to think, “How can I afford that.” The world is plenty saturated with “can’t do” types. Be one of the few “figure it out” types.

4. Nobody cares as much as you. Seriously, it can be a bad habit when the words, “what do you think about …” flow out of your mouth before you’ve checked with your most trusted advisor: you. Are you quiet long enough to hear what your instinct is telling you?

5. Accept that things will never be perfect and that all the stars do not need to align for you to “make your move.” Whatever that move is, be someone who’s OK with stepping on the first stair, even if you don’t see the whole staircase.

I’ve used all of these “ mind tricks” to help me travel the world, learn new languages, start a family, start businesses, create products and meet beautiful women from around the world in Italy.

If I waited for my “permission slip” from someone or something … I think I would still be waiting.

Now, I would love to hear from you.

If you get a chance, tell me your “did it on my own” moments.

Please share in the comments below.



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dany NaderBianca @ Italian FixDianeCindy KanegisMoira Recent comment authors
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Rachel Jones Wilcox

Bianca, Your posts are insightful and Raw. Appreciate your absolute commitment to put more Beauty out into this world, not just stand on the sidelines of it and wait for it to show up. I’ve got a few group trips coming up soon from the USA to France and Italy… Read more »


All the yes to this article! You’re my hero and such an inspiration to me. Going on one of your tours is going to be a present to myself very soon!

Stephe F
Stephe F

Wow wow wow……just had my lightbulb, penny drop moment….thank you for giving me the realisation and the belief I can figure the how’s out….I will be seeing you in 2018 ???? xx

Keryn booker
Keryn booker

I think it’s terribly sad , you have no one to rely on except yourself , that’s a very singular way to live , which is becoming more prevelant , of the me generation . I know your trying to mindset some poor souls to buy a trip, but I… Read more »


Love this, thanks for sharing, I really sync with the first one, taking care of yourself, it’s taken many many years for me to grasp this, no matter how independent I believed I was, Ive applied this on so many level in my life, it’s constantly evolving with time. “Accepting… Read more »


Wise and gentle words thank you Bianca and necessary for many. I would add just one more and that would be ‘don’t give anyone else the responsibility of making you happy’.

Cindy Kanegis

Bianca, Buongiorno, Just wanted to thank you for your email, full of wisdom and honesty. As a coach, my mission is to help other’s move past their fears and embrace the mindset you have so eloquently posted. Having just returned last month from an extended stay in Italy(NYC is home… Read more »


This post really spoke to me. Beautifully expressed Bianca.

dany Nader
dany Nader

Dear Bianca,
I thank you for being what you are. Reading your post, I felt like i had a long discussion with you longtime ago. I spoke to me.

Thank you for sharing your experience, your knowledge and your life perceptions.


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